In my parents’ day, you knew your relationship was in trouble.

“Dear John,

By the time you read this letter I’ll be gone.

Sincerely yours,

Yvonne.

Ps. I’ve taken all the Tupperware and your best powder blue Safari suit. That ought to learn you to mess with the nextdoor neighbour’s missus.”

You got a letter didn’t you? Often short. Often polite.

Painful to read? Granted. Ability to defend yourself in no uncertain terms? Limited. But room for error? None.

Sometimes it was a phonecall that let you know the lie of the land. “Hi. Is Jude there?” “Speaking”. “Jude it’s Trevor.” “I’ve left you for Brian”. Click.

Either way – you knew where you stood.

These days its all Facebook updates declaring your single status designed to shame, name and let an otherwise blissfully unaware person in a relationship know, that frankly – they no longer are.

And don’t get me started on the texting of such a sensitive matter. 160 characters is simply not enough to do the situation justice.

“dEr John,

By d tym U rED DIS letR, ill b gone.

<Sad face emoticon>

V.”

Lord have mercy – it’s not just love gone wrong for poor John but Yvonne’s gone ahead and ended her relationship with the entire English language.

“Such a shame” she says while shaking her blue rinsed head and tackling her crochet leisuresuit. Except I have neither a fetching blue rinse NOR can I crochet. I consider myself down with the youths and deeply troubled.

I MISS letters. And I MISS the art of communication. I worry that the youngsters of the modern world will never feel and experience the unabashed joy of getting something delicious via the post. It says many things like “I want you to know I made an effort”. “I’m not the same as everyone else” and “I like the cut of your jib”. Sure it may also say “I’m old and wrote this with a quill and parchment by the flickering candle light” BUT hear me now! I reckon old school’s making a comeback.

Letters take effort.

Effort is good.

Go ahead and write one.

MAK SUM1Z  DA.